Big C, Big O
by Pikajenn
Summary: An experiment in writing a bad story on purpose. Like, totally r&r! This ficcy is 2 kewl! .


I hate crappy stories. Here's an original summary fresh off some website and the story that I wrote to make fun of it.  
  
  
  
Original Summary:   
  
strange things r a foot and Ash finds himself in tha middle, a strange lugia requests his help once more butt, wut if tings wint horriblie wrong? even worser, wut if Ash 'n' Misty wre seprated? wud their luv survive? (theme sng: survivr, b, dc!!) It's sew kawaii! Reed n rview!   
  
The inspired story:   
  
Ash: *points to the sky* Misty? What is that?   
  
Misty: It looks like a Lugia.   
  
Togepi: Briii!! (I let a wet one loose!)   
  
Pikachu: Piii... (I'm not cleaning that up...)   
  
Ash: *scratches head, dislodges brain* I hate it when that happens! *relocates it*   
  
Fangirls: *screech with joy* SEE!! HE DOES HAVE A BRAIN!!   
  
Ash and Misty: *blinks*   
  
Strange Lugia (SL): Heeey guys!   
  
Misty: I thought there was only one Lugia. And aren't you summoned only when the three Legendary Birds go nuts?   
  
SL: *blinks* I never thought of it that way. *shrugs* At any rate, I'm a Strange Lugia and I need Ash's help.   
  
Misty: With what?   
  
Togepi: Briiii!! (I will rule the world!!)   
  
SL: It's a matter only for the Chosen One to deal with! Only he can save the world!   
  
Ash: I...*gets determined look on his face* I'll do it!   
  
Pikachu: Pi, Pikapi! (You go, Ashy boy!)   
  
SL: *hands kids a computer printout* Okay, here's my address...   
  
Misty: Wait!! You want us to get there ourselves??   
  
SL: I got the directions off Yahoo! so you can't possibly get lost.   
  
Ash: *takes paper* Well, we don't have Brock with us...I guess we can handle it.   
  
Misty: Handle it my butt! *rips up paper* You're gonna fly us there!   
  
SL: *blinks* On what?   
  
(flashy sequence break)   
  
SL: *panting* We're...we're here...(lands on tropical island beach)   
  
Misty: About time! Some Legendary you are.   
  
Togepi: Brii!! (I will rule the world!!)   
  
Ash: Wow, you own all this?   
  
Pikachu: Piii! (You must make a fortune with tourists!)   
  
SL: *sighs and leads group into a rather large beachfront villa* It's in here.   
  
(The group ends up in a large entertainment room. It is actually identical to a movie theater room, complete with aisle lights in alternating colors of red, blue, and lavendar)   
  
Misty: You are one straaaange Pokemon.   
  
SL: *shrugs* I'm a Lugia.   
  
Ash: *confused* I thought there was only one Lugia...   
  
SL: *ushers Ash towards the large screen* One question at a time, sport. The problem is up here, not with how many Lugia's there are or aren't.   
  
(Togepi and Pikachu follow, toddling down the aisle. Togepi trips and rolls down, eventually sticking to some fresh gum left in the center of the aisle.)   
  
Togepi: Briii!! (I shall rule the world!!)   
  
Pikachu: *sighs and dislodges the Evil Egg Pokemon* Piika. (It's not like I haven't heard that one before.)   
  
(The group makes it safetly to the screen and Ash is taken to a small open panel. Misty suddenly looks uncomfortable.)   
  
Misty: *tugging on SL's wing* I gotta go.   
  
SL: *shrugs* You know where the exit is.   
  
Misty: *frowns* I mean I gotta use the facilities! Where are they?   
  
SL: *sighs* Down the hall, first door on your right.   
  
Misty: *exits, stage left*   
  
Ash: *pining* Oh, Misty! What will I do without you?   
  
Pikachu: Pi pikachu pika. (You could think for yourself for once.)   
  
Togepi: Brii!! (I will rule the world!!)   
  
SL: Back to the matter at hand, chosen one!   
  
Ash: Uh, shouldn't that be Chosen One? With capitalized C and O?   
  
SL: *rolls eyes* Whatever. At any rate, the problem is here...   
  
(SL opens panel. Inside is a variety of electronic equipment. One is flashing 12:00 over and over.)   
  
Ash: *skeptical* You want me to program your vcr?   
  
SL: *nods gravely* Yes. I have a dinner party and I'm going to be entertaining in here. You have no idea how embarassing it is to have that blinking like that.   
  
Ash: You had me come *here* to program your *vcr*? Are you NUTS???   
  
Meanwhile...   
  
Misty: Uh...did he say first door? Was that right or left? *takes second door on right* Oh nooooo.....*falls down the rabbit hole*   
  
Back in the bat cave...   
  
Batman: Um..wrong fic..   
  
Back in SL's entertainment room...   
  
Ash: *prods controller* And then you hit Menu, and then control...Or is it Enter...Oh, boy, this wasn't listed in the Chosen One's Guidebook to Everything.   
  
SL: *frets* You gotta hurry! They'll be here soon!   
  
Ash: Oh man...   
  
Togepi: Brii..*is cut off*   
  
Pikachu: PIKA!! (We know already!!)   
  
(sound of doorbell ringing)   
  
SL: *wide eyes* It's them!   
  
Ash: It is?   
  
SL: Well it ain't Martha Stewart!   
  
Ash: It isn't?   
  
SL: *wary* Who named you chosen one?   
  
Ash: *indignant* That's Chosen One. Big C, big O.   
  
SL: Whatever. Listen, you're obviously no help. I should've gotten that Oak kid.   
  
Ash: *gasps and pales*   
  
SL: Sorry, I know you fight with him...   
  
Ash: It...it's not that...   
  
SL: Then what is it?!   
  
Pikachu: Pikapi! Pi Pichupi? (Ash! Where's Misty?)   
  
Ash: *nods* I know, Pikachu. I saw Misty in the lake yesterday, too.   
  
Pikachu and SL: *blinks*   
  
SL: Well, that's more than I wanted to know.   
  
Pikachu: *nods in agreement*   
  
Togepi: Brii!! (I will rule the world!!)   
  
Pikachu: PIKACHU!!!! *let's loose a thunderbolt* (Take that evil Egg!!!!)   
  
(Unfortunately, the attack flys off an unharmed Togepi and destroys SL's entertainment equipment)   
  
SL: NOO!! MY EQUIPMENT!!   
  
Ash: *stares at SL* You weren't hit.   
  
SL: *whaps Ash with wing* Baka! Not me!! My vcr and stuff!   
  
(said stuff is fried)   
  
Togepi: Brii!! (Hah, missed me sucker!!!)   
  
Ash: Now where was I? *resumes sick look* Misty!! I can't live without you! You've been gone ten minutes! How can our love survive?   
  
(Mewtwo teleports in)   
  
M2: Wow, smokin' equipment.   
  
SL: *dryly* Thanks.   
  
M2: Need any help?   
  
SL: *looks at Ash who is currently writhing on the ground*  Yes.   
  
M2: Well...   
  
SL: Can you teleport the Chosen One *he emphasises the Big C and Big O* and his friends far away from here?   
  
M2: *hopeful* Like the moon?   
  
SL: *dark look* Worse...   
  
M2: *frightened* New Jersey?   
  
SL: Send them to...FLORIDA!!!   
  
Ash: *wails* NOOOOOO!!!!   
  
Pikachu: Piika!!! (Not Old People Land!!!)   
  
Togepi: Brii!! (What a place to start ruling the world from!!)   
  
M2: *concentrates and eyes glow*   
  
SL: Dude, that is seriously cool!   
  
M2: *pleased* Why thank you ...   
  
SL: NO! Don't look at me like that! It's also very freaky.   
  
M2: *pouts*   
  
(Mewtwo teleports the Chosen One, Pikachu, Togepi...)   
  
SL: *panics* Don't forget Misty!   
  
M2: *sighs, searches psychic like and locates Misty*   
  
(...and Misty to Orlando)   
  
SL: *sighs at the peace and quiet* Now, can you fix a vcr?   
  
M2: *indignant* What do I look like? A chosen one?   
  
SL: That's Chosen One. Big C, big O.   
  
*end*  
  
_Author's Notes: Ah...Yah, I made fun of Ash and Misty and Togepi big time. It was fun, you should try it. No offense made towards New Jersey, Orlando, or theater rooms.   
_


End file.
